safe haven

     What  is safe? The textbook definition states:  protected from or not exposed to danger or risk; not likely to be harmed or lost. also uninjured; with no harm done.
      If this is  the case...I have never been safe. None of us are ever REALLY safe. Think about it. We  are all exposed to danger and risk every single day. There are accidents of all kinds. Car accidents, slips/ falls...There is violence as a result of arguments involving loved  ones, drugs, money. We have natural disasters. Tornados that rip up houses, and tsunamis that flood the lives of people who already have little to nothing to call their own. We live in a constant state of danger. Taking the risk daily to lead our lives as normally as possible dodging all of the unknown landmines that may creep up as a result.
     Uninjured...forget it. We have all experienced harms done. Varying degrees i'm sure, but devastation hits all of us at some point or another. There are wrongs we do unto others  daily that put them in harms way, and wrongs done unto us that push us closer to insecurity. The human race is indefinitely incapable of complete protection from themselves, others and the very world around them.
     We must create safety. We must find that inner peace somewhere past our racing hearts and weary thoughts. Since danger is inevitable the only thing that we can control is our attitude and outlook upon the tragedies that surround us.
     Me..I find my safe haven wherever I find God.
     I see him in my mind every time I begin to ponder a selfish dishonest thought.
     I see him each time I try to force my hand and will upon that which I have no business in dealing.
     I see him when I am walking down the road, or shopping or cooking or wherever I am, whatever i'm doing. I see him the most when I'm in danger...Really when I am a danger to myself. HE keeps me safe.
      This roller coaster ride of addiction has thrown me through loops, it has hung me upside down, shot me straight up and rushed me right back  down to earth. My theme park ride life style  has spared no prisoners. It would strap you in tight and not let you out until you were so sick and delirious that all you could do was think to get right back on and go for another round. It was extremely harmful, injurious, and devastatingly UNsafe. I pray today, I pray everyday to stay close to my sanctuary. To stick to my AA roots, and take refuge in  the fact that I may not always  be out of harms way, but I will  never have to be alone in my journey.