She woke up on that October morning with a brand new out look on life. Scanning the room slowly with fresh eyes, and a puzzled look on her face. Seeing all of these once familiar things for the very first time... She stretched out her long, weightless limbs, and let out a sigh of relief that only a new day can bring.
The bed seemed a little bit bigger that day. The ceiling a little bit higher, and the windows shown through beams of sunlight she'd sworn she hadn't seen in years. Opening her mouth to yawn, the first gasp of crisp clean air hit the back of her throat, and then it occurred to her. She wasn't trapped anymore...she wasn't weighed down by the world.
No evil insane thoughts came rushing to the fore front of her mind. No obsessive compulsive ideas of self destruction or selfish acts of kindness. She wasn't in a rush to get anywhere, nor could she think of one place she needed to be. For the first time in her life....she was STILL, and she knew in that moment that she was very much ALIVE.
This new found silence would have strangled her before. It would have been the loudest thing she had ever heard. Where was the madness? Where were the voices inside her head...the devilish thoughts convincing her that she was justified in her manipulative ways? Most days her body would drag her through life with or without her feeble brain. Mindless would have been an understatement....Crazy would be more like it.
This was nice. This stillness.
She didn't question it. She lied there quietly beneath her baby blue comforter and FELT. She felt all those things she had left behind. And it wasn't scary...it was nice. Wow was it nice. I loved that, I mean, SHE couldn't have appreciated that morning anymore.
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