touched

I felt the wind today..I felt the tickle of my long brown hair dance across my face. The air embodied a certain chilliness that sent shivers down my spine....the numbness was like tiny ants marching in succession to the tune of mother natures symphony. I had never been touched that way before. The gentleness...it was alarming. I have been held by strong able arms, gazed at with the innocence of a childs newly opened eyes, and yet nothing was as powerful...as consuming as the way the wind encompassed every fiber of my being. That hurricane is usually inside of my chest. I feel the pressure and the cold from the inside out instead of the outside in, the way I did today. It was soothing. My heart was able to feel the warmth for the first time since I was small on this breezy November morning. It could beat without frozen restraint...How ironically silent the wind was as it spoke volumes rustling through my black zip up sweatshirt. That heat coursed through my veins with such reckless abandon that it nearly burnt right through my ice cold skin. That fire, that undeniable thirst for life hasn't been present in my heart in weeks, months, years even. I would've sooner told you I was dead before I could merely utter the words.."I am alive". I wasn't alive. I was standing, like the rugged skeleton of a dilapidated tree in the forest...I was present,but I was far from living. Even the gentlest of winds could have crumbled my frail exterior....The rains would wash me away with the tears of the many souls  i've seized. Today  I am very much alive...I felt the wind today...and my roots were as sturdy as the day God gave them to me. I did not turn my back on that current today, and God did not turn his back on me.