a mind is a terrible thing to waste

My whole life i've been the pretty one, the tan one, the one with the nice body. The sexy one with green eyes to die for and the lips to kill. I've been viewed first for my looks and then second for my sexual ability or my walk, or the way my brown hair sways in the wind. What about my mind? What about the millions and millions of gut wrenching thoughts I think...Can those not be seen? Do they not know the creativity that flows through my mind, the constant stream of dictionary words that toddle around from right temporal lobe to left or the lyrics that leave burn marks on my soul and not just ink stains on my skin. They can see the words sexily wrap around my thigh, ribs, stomach, but do they not see the impression it leaves on my heart. My hands have always freshly painted finger nails and designer rings, but do they not know the loads they have carried. Do they see the rough patches from years of dirty dishes or the millions of tiny permanent paper cuts from my many nights spent scripting every solitary moment of heartache I have ever endured. My legs are long, and tone but do they not know the miles they've walked or that I am so fragily built that I live in a constant state of "weak in the knees".  Do they know that those knees have been used for countless hours  praying for life, praying to be heard, felt, touched by something absolutely purely beautiful. My back looks strong, but it is weak..it has been strained by heavy burdens, and the weight of my entire world crashing down on me. My posture poor, but my faith is abundant. My heart beats with but a measly interworking of half broken wires, and patch work memories. They wouldn't know. I hope one day the world can stop seeing me. Stop seeing the shell, and start FEELING the human that lives within these 4 extremities. The inside isn't healthy, it isn't flawless or prim or proper. It's crumbling, starved...it's deteriorated from 12 years of harsh unremorseful abuse. It is flooded half with coffee, and the other half with a love that could drown a nation. They wouldn't know that either. Let me see YOU instead. Let my eyes envelope your entire being. I have been blessed with the ability to see from the inside out, and the mind to comprehend the true worth of beauty. My physical looks have gotten me by, but my soul is what keeps me going. humbled be the ones that experience the power.