fumes

Running on fumes. Literally. Had one day off and do I rest? Of course I don't I stay up for 24 hours straight painting every room in my house. I imagine it's from my mind being so wound up lately...a body in motion tends to stay in motion. Well today has rolled around and I am in utter pain, and borderline hallucinating due to lack of sleep and the incessant paint fumes. Normal people would've opened a window....me...I like the high. I've filled my home with cheerful colors in hopes that when I rise each morning I'm happy to be alive. The paint helps, although I find it a little ironic that I choose a dark purple for my bedroom...so technically the first thing I see when I open my eyes is, well darkness...To me it's soothing. I don't run on the same wave length as most people. I'm easily relatable yet so far from being understood. The mystery keeps them coming back. I've been plenty fortunate in my life, I'd go so far as to saying that I'm BLESSED. This is because my biggest accomplishments have been some of my biggest mistakes. Learning more from the pain then the joy is most cases. Happiness is easily shared....the sadness is all consuming, it resonates in every orifice of your body. " I can see it in your eyes " they say...and that's true. You can see it in my crooked smile, in the crows feet around my eyes, and the slight shake in my hands. I'm neuritic....by nature. The colors in my other rooms are vibrant, describing my personality perfectly....a little funky, a little loud and a lot unique. The familiarity is comforting. I sit in the same spot on the couch every day, I wash my hair first in the shower, I always have to rewind the saddest part of every movie just to experience it one more time. I don't like change...if you hadn't caught on. This paint project was a good change, subtle...but necessary.