do doo doot dooooo doot do

I can't escape it. This feeling inside of me. I can't run from this, I can not hide. It sees me everywhere I go, hearing my most vulnerable thoughts. I can not pray without judgement...from my socially-inept self. Praying the way I was taught. Never for me, and always for the happiness and welfare of others. I had faith in who I was. I lost me somewhere between then and here. My body followed but my mind is estranged. My heart...Is with you, and you and you. In everyone I meet. My pulse beats out of rhythm. Ironic. Pausing ever so slightly...doo doot...dooooo doot...do dot...my heart keeps time.