These city lights. They shine like a million diamonds over the back alleys, and cheap bodega stores where we'd occupy ourselves for hours. Sparkling in the eyes of the children as they scurried, and clinging like sequence to our homeless tattered hair.Those fiery twinkling bulbs glisten off of freshly filled rain puddles, and off of the hoods of shiny new cars, but they didn't shine as bright as you....
All the tiny street mice, the people. All of the sounds, and screams, and whispers through the underground subway tunnels. The darkness. We shall not be fearful in these moments sweetheart, our darkness is the exact same shade....I know this because it is my favorite color. It's the color of my reality. The opaque shield that sheltered me for days and days.
My insides, tangled up in knots craved those neon blinking bar signs. It craved the red flashing exit signals, and the mirrored reflection of the disco ball. Remember how it hung in the back corner of those fancy dance clubs where we spent our lonely nights. Do you remember how we just didn't want to remember....we just didn't want to know.
I wish you were here so I could tell you all the joys of how precious it is not to know a single thing. To not know which way it's gonna go and to not have to hide from it. We were always lost in the plain view. That manifested hell was a beautifully crafted delusion to our hideous reality. The hell we wreaked was better than the hell we were born into. Our version had numbing solutions, and pretty lights, and french kisses with strangers, and each other.
Lucky for me I still know our beginning, and tragically I have seen the end. Lack of faith is no longer our dilemma. I think we were wrong about ourselves all those years....There was heaven on earth, the proof is the we had survived. The real proof is that today you can see that it is for real. You are my heaven, my true life testament to the light within the darkness. Today you are fearless.....shine on you my crazy diamond.
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