There are so many words that I can't bring myself to say. I think if I were to open my mouth they would all flood out in one jumbled mess. Speaking in tongues, my tears would guide my thoughts. Sometimes it's the things we just couldn't bring ourselves to say....
I'd like to tell you that I'm sorry for the life we lived...but I'm not. I'd like to tell you that I don't believe this is happening, but I do. I'd like to tell you that if I could go back to the day this all started and some how try to save us I would. The fact of the matter was that I couldn't save us if I tried. The blind is not capable of leading the blind. Maybe for a distance, but never for long.
Thank god for all we missed. For all we've done. In sickness and in health we created a world. Maybe not a life, but a mini universe that we survived in for the better part of 25 years. We made ourselves believe that the world outside was so unkind, but it was us tragically that had no soul to bear. It all seemed so painful, but I know today that we were not the only ones that were suffering.
I am so grateful for the time we had. There was joy in those moments. A time to learn, to grow, to fall, and to build each other back up. I do not regret a moment of our crazy lives together, and I hope that you don't either. Today, regardless if it is one way or the other, I believe in my heart that we are just as free as we'll ever be.
I love you so very very much.
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