8:30am rolled around and I was awake on my own free will feeling like a million bucks. Making coffee, checking facebook ( haha ), and texting some important people is how I chose to start my day. I ate a bagel and sat down on my porch to write.
What a beautiful moment in time when I can just sit in silence in the sunshine that's pouring in my window. Watch the birds flutter by without a care in the world, and finally in my own life understand what it means to be FREE.
I was a lot like those birds out there. I'd move around from place to place not staying anywhere too long. Dropping in on unsuspecting prey, having my way with them, feeding off of them, and than abruptly flying away. I'd pick them apart in a desperate search of whatever it was about them that satisfied me...something to soothe the yearning in my soul for that second. It was never enough. Not even the mightiest of lions could have produced enough power to appease me.
You couldn't tell it NO. This driving force beneath my skin and bones. You could look it dead in the face, and there was absolutely no backing down under any and all circumstances. The warm sensation flowing through my body, the slight slur in speech, and absent minded thoughts were sickeningly powerful. The desire came before any rational thoughts, it knew of no boundaries or limitations. IT was all things.
Today I am all things...with God of course. I am like those birds now in a sense that I soar around and spend a little time with everyone here and there instead of rushing past.I enjoy all of the stops... Somedays I linger longer than others. I still take but I only ever take what I need. No more or less. Filling up so that I can give it back. Rushing ONLY to my next stop in my crazy life to drop a little of the goodness I've collected elsewhere. Today I am still everywhere, but....
I am free.....
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